29906
Joke of the Day
"I could be wearing a onesie right now, you don't know."
Next Joke
"Once, when my grandma stepped out of the bathtub... and my sister commented that the hair on her privates'' was getting rather sparse, Granny retorted that ""grass don't grow on a racetrack""."
"I like to flush the toilet a few times when I'm on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again"
"Called my Doctor, in a panic, serious difficulty ""passing"" urine. Turns out, it's just that I drive a shitty mini-van."
"A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken... The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, ""Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."""
"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway."
"Girls with huge boobs will never know if they're really interesting."
"""Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."""
"[Starbucks] What can I get you? I'll have a large coffee, black ""You don't have to say black"" I'll have a large coffee, African American"
"Probably a lot of horses sitting on couches today talking about how they could have ""gone Derby"" if they hadn't gotten hurt in college."