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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get if you cross the atlantic with the titanic? A: About halfway."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7? I still love vista, baby"

"Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"They should really replace, ""I now pronounce you man and wife"" with ""FINISH HIM!!"""

"New fast food chain in Germany Apparently is called ""In-and-Auschwitz Burgers."" The slogan is ""Bacon isn't the only thing cookin in the oven!"""

"I was on a date with a girl at the cinema. We both put our hands into the popcorn at the same time, so to make it less awkward, I said, ""Don't worry, that's not the one I masturbate with."""

"I'm a straight white guy who gets sad and is terrified of intimacy. Give me my own show! I am so unique!!!!!!"

"He's as sharp as a bowling ball."

"If life gives you melons you're probably dyslexic"