29214

Joke of the Day

"I don't know why I broke up with the gym... ..I guess we just weren't working out."

"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."

"I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway."

"""You miss 100% of the shots you never take."" - Wayne Gretzky ""You miss 100% of the shots you DO take."" - Stormtroopers"

"What's the Square Root of 69? Ate something."

"So this guy walks into a bar... Ouch!"

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowoman? Snowballs!"

"Ok, seriously men... You can't hear yourselves snoring, but the slightest crinkle of a chip bag, and you're suddenly wide awake?!"

"Pretty sure the ""FINISH HIM"" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date."

"I bought my friend a copy of The Lord of the Rings but he didn't seem that pleased. He though it was a Tolkien gesture."