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Joke of the Day

"Grabs intercom: ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA, STAY HERE! WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS"

"2 fish in a tank, one says to the other Do you know how to drive this thing?"

"What do eagles and moles have in common? They both fly, except for the mole..."

"It's not that hard to tell alligators and crocodiles apart. One will see you after a while, and the other will see you later."

"Got caught stealing a utensil set earlier... I was a whisker away."

"What happens if you steel? You have to get Alloy-er"

"I just got this twitter error: ""The server understood your request but is refusing to fill it."" Apparently, twitter thinks we're married."

"Why do mathematicians love talking about Jesus? Because he's a cross product."

"Whats the only free food you will get from a Nigerian scammer? Spam."

"Q: Why are bison such good musicians? A: They have fantastic horns."