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Joke of the Day

"Grabs intercom: ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA, STAY HERE! WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS"

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it"

"What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel!"

"If Tom Cruise had an intervention to an addiction... They should call it ""Cruise Control."""

"Ran into my ex gf today... I put it in reverse and hit her again"

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler? Ringworm!"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Blurgblurgblurg"

"Your mother's so fat... Your father couldn't pull out in time."

"What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!"

"I think I'm going to sell my theremin I haven't touched it in ages..."