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Joke of the Day

"I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would've been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer."

Next Joke
 
"Here's one for you...! 1"
"If they crossover the stories of King Midas and Oedipus... It'll be pure motherfucking gold!"
"""The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead"" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house"
"Did you hear about... ...the new WSPA building downtown? The offices are so small, you couldn't swing a cat in there!"
"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"
"A man goes to the doctor... The doctor says ""I've got good news and bad news. The good news is you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I should have told you yesterday..."""
"What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat? Her miscarriage."
"Did you hear that Mariah Carey's producers asked when the ball would be dropped last night? Because it seemed to happen around 11:41"
"What is your name? Hugh Mungus"