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Joke of the Day

"A time traveler walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"A monk to another, ""O! master, is it proper for a monk to use email?"" ""Sure, as long as there are no attachments"", replied the other."

"A kid locked the boys bathroom. Janitor tells him ""That was a dick move there son"". The Principal tells him ""Urine a lot of trouble son"" His friends are pissed at him"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest"

"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."

"What type of sea creature do Chinese fishermen catch? Crust-asian"

"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"

"""Doctor, doctor! I need a new pair of glasses!"" ""I can see that - this is a hotdog stand."""

"Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are"

"What did the coma patient win? A-trophy."