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Joke of the Day
"I used to be a halogen but then I took a proton to the Ne"
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"""Dude, what's with the outfit?"" ""Bruh, I got a job as a bouncer"" *hops away in kangaroo costume*"
"Have you heard the one about the single lady and the hitman? probably not, the punchline is a dead miss."
"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried. *-Hannibal Lecter*"
"What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band? My Chemical Romance"
"Shout out to the people who... Don't know what the opposite of in is"
"Facebook, where people can pretend to be everything they really aren't to the friends they really don't have."
"What do you call a horny dog??? Nothing. So he doesn't come..."
"SCIENTIST: it's both man and machine ME: what's it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*"
"I understand if you aren't religious, I respect that. But you don't have to get all rude when I ask to use your first born as a sacrifice."