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Joke of the Day

"If all the 7 days were to get in a fight, who would win? Either Saturday or Sunday, because all others are week days."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High Definition."

"I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning."

"What food, when consumed by a female, causes a complete loss of desire? Wedding cake."

"I left my girlfriend because her orgasms were too brief. I just could not accept her shortcomings."

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It may take me a while to get hardI just got laid last night."

"I served 2 years in Iraq Until they shut down the restaurant"

"I lose my white friends in the snow and I lose my Asian friends in the sand. Where do I lose my Arab friends? I don't have any Arab friends, so it doesn't matter."

"Grammar tip Farther = physical distance Further = metaphorical distance Father = emotional distance"

"A lettuce, a tomato and a pumpkin had a race The pumpkin fell down squash. The tomato tried to ketchup, but the lettuce came out ahead"