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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dumb father who got up and struck a match to see if he had blown out the candle?"

Next Joke
 
"*dad bursts into my room and puts me in a headlock* ""Why didn't you 'Like' the Grumpy Cat meme I posted on Facebook, you son of a bitch?"""
"While browsing my local sex shop I ended up meeting the love of my life... She even came with batteries too!"
"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? ""Go fuck yourself!"""
"Carrot raisin salad. When you want to eat something horrible, 3 times."
"Life is sexually transmitted."
"Our culture is like a fungus. It's fucking disgusting but it grows on you."
"What did the square say to the root? ""Radical"""
"A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds ""Wife Wanted"". The next day, he received 1000 of replies, all reading: ""You can have mine."" Free delivery also available at your door step"
"My grandma was so poor she only left me recipes for pasta dishes in her will, you could say she was my.. *golf swings* Pennefactor."