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Joke of the Day

"A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel."

"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite drink? White Russian, Straight"

"I've been putting vodka in my fruit smoothies. Also no fruit."

"Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said ""bc time killed the dinosaurs."" My kids are never leaving home are they"

"What do you call a Totalitarian ass who remixes other people's speeches? D.J. T-Rump"

"Job interviewer: ""Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"" Me: ""It's a secret."" Job interviewer: ""You got the job."""

"Still trying to figure out how Cee-Lo wipes his ass."

"What do you call an Asian person that is hit by a car? Hood orient"

"My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys."

"What does a redneck say after sex? Thanks, sis."