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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to r/Jokes Where the jokes aren't funny and the points don't matter!"

"How do you save a suicidal procrastinator? Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow."

"yes off course i'm an American My friend calls me up and asks ""Hey are you free tonight?"" And I say of course, I'm American"

"Why did the raisin take the prune to the new year's ball? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone."

"What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream? Sure, Bert!"

"What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists? Rise up lights"

"Marriage? Ha. Fatherhood? Please. I rarely feel so manly as when I put together a piece of furniture and have no screws left over."

"You're one day closer to death AND you get free cake? What's not to like about birthdays?"

"Why can't you make bread like my mother? I would if you could make dough like your father!"