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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Jew with no chance of getting ahead? Bernie Sanders."
Next Joke
"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)"
"Ever turn the radio right to your favorite song as it's beginning? It almost makes up for the fact that everyone you love will die sometime."
"Is there a scientific name for the state where you're not hungry but you want to keep eating, besides ""awake"""
"I've asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of crying baby next to me It turns out you can't do that if baby is yours."
"Maybe I should get married. Its not like I have sex anyway."
"Why is there the occasional black Jew? Because Hilter kept them in the oven for too long."
"""I spent 150 dollars on a penis enlarger and they sent me a magnifying glass."""
"Remember back in the olden days when we used wood-burning stoves and AOL?"
"Let me tell you why going outside is not safe. Because chances are after a few days you end up retweeting a joke about yourself."