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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: please come out of there so we can talk ME: [from cardboard box] i'm sorry come out of where? WIFE: [sigh] please exit the spacecraft"

"What is the definition of safe sex for rednecks... Making sure you brand all the sheep that kick"

"For every movie about Vietnam starring Chuck Norris, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more ""Missing in Action"" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed."

"What do you call it when you hire your relatives to play with your nipples? Nippletism"

"What's yellow and black and makes you laugh: A bus full of niggers going over a cliff."

"Made in Thailand Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok? He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger. ~ Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok? It was a Thai."

"Did you hear about the Amish woman who got arrested? She was doing 2 Mennonite a night"

"I'm in a hotel room atm. It has about 1034 millibar and 1 minibar. Sorry."

"Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!"

"Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. #badpickupline"