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Joke of the Day

"What's the Biggest Jobs Killer in the United States? Pancreatic cancer."

"A Rabbi's money maker. A man asks a Rabbi if he gets paid for the circumcisions. The Rabbi says - No, I can't do that! I just Keep the tips!"

"When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the ""math"" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes."

"Hillary demands that Trump release his tax returns Trump says - I'll email them to you."

"When I die, I might have an open casket funeral. Remains to be seen."

"What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws ? An acrocat !"

"[1st time on phone with a girl] I've got butterflies in my stomach It's so cute that you're nervous [eating 2nd bowl of butterflies] huh?"

"Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard? To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week."

"If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right."

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."