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Joke of the Day

"How many sides does a pentagon have? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

"Don't you wish after a break-up you wouldn't get phone stalked & mail stalked & email stalked? It's OVER, American Express. Let. Me. Go."

"Whats a Mexican's Favorite Sport? Cross Country"

"My street looks like a garbage dump... ...litter ally!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! A Fred ! A Fred who ? Who's a Fred of the Big Bad Wolf ?"

"When I'm about to die and my life flashes before my eyes I'm worried that a lot of it will just be Facebook and TV."

"So I was about to roll a joint with a page from the Qur'an... But I decided that I didn't really feel like getting stoned."

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!"

"When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome Because when he jumps up on me I can shout ""Down syndrome"""

"*practices like 1000 times in the mirror* [at Starbucks] ""One grander none-fatty flaparinno"" barista: ... ""I'll try again tomorrow"""