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Joke of the Day

"I want to adopt two kids... ... with cancer, both named Jordan. I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans."

"Why did this adhesive strip quit his work? He just couldn't tape it anymore.."

"Why was the neighbor mad at the Mars rover speeding around her neighborhood? Because Curiosity killed her cat"

"Day 1 of being kidnapped. Kidnappers are now offering my husband a ransom to take me back. Husband is asking for more money."

"We call her Skippy... because she's so easy to spread."

"LPT: If you want to get all green lights just try to send a text."

"I'm no genius but I'm pretty sure Mexicans with anxiety have Hispanic attacks."

"How do you make a sandwich legendary? Make it on dark rye"

"I'm just off for a meeting with an Indian car maker. Tata."

"I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon."