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Joke of the Day

"Loyalty Test... Wife buys 12 underwears of same color for hubby.. Hubby- Why same color sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear. Wife- Which people Total silence..."

"I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas."

"What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge? ""No, Woman, no pie."""

"When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal.. but when people find I'm a drinker they're all ""stop the car"" and ""we're calling the police""."

"I think the girl I just met may be a goddess... because even though she's never talked to me, later tonight billions will be massacred by my hand in her name."

"So it is my anniversary I couldn't think of what to get her... But I finally settled on a plunger, because bitches love bringing up old shit"

"The guy who invented the USB connector died... They lowered the coffin into his grave. Then they lifted it back out, turned it round, and lowered it back in again."

"I just read a long article about Japanese sword fighters. If you want, I can samurais it for you."

"Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator? Because there might be an Italian dressing."

"How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ? Tell him a joke when he's a baby !"