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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us but whatever be that way."

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"What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim!"
"People say that you should drink white wine with fish.. It's not correct. People shouldn't drink with fishes."
"I found out my best friend was a heroin addict... Needles to say, that friendship ended quickly."
"How do you start a powerful woman's movement? Laxatives."
"Willie Nelson, 81, found dead... He was playing 'On The Road Again'"
"so a man answers a phone call... man - ""I don't know, I live about ten miles from the ocean"" wife - ""who was that? what did they want?"" man - ""some asshole who wanted to know if the coast was clear"""
"Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court? Because he heard the Ref was Blowing Fowls."
"Why do they call it Black Friday? Because it's the only day blacks can afford to go shopping"
"London held a monocle convention for high class members of society... ... it was a respectable spectacle spectacle."