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Joke of the Day

"I have 6 mental illnesses Schizophrenia, OCD, ADHD, dislexia, anxiety, and hypochondria."

"Two of the three times I've jumped out of a moving car, Beiber was on the radio. The other time my grandma entered the freeway the wrong way."

"One sweet thing about being the boss in the office is that you can actually order specific supplies you want to steal."

"What was Roe v. Wade really about? The fastest way to get across a river."

"What is the best ""white people"" joke you know (possibly NSFW) I can't recall ever hearing any white people jokes. Anyone have any?"

"If 'we are what we eat'! Then I'm a huge dick you guys. I'm really sorry"

"Did you hear about the man who had purple paint thrown all over him? He was violeted"

"A baby seal walked into a club... =)"

"Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"I never ask for people to send me thoughts & prayers but, while sitting at Starbucks a man standing behind me farted on my shoulder."