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Joke of the Day

"I put a picture of my friend with MS on my computer. It quit running"

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Peter, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."""

"What do the English use to blow up their enemies? Tea N' Tea."

"Why should you never run in front of a bus? You will get tired."

"A farmer was worried when he counted only 196 cows... ...but when he rounded them up, much to his relief, he had 200."

"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chile ! Chile who? Chile out tonight !"

"How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left."

"I tried to use ""MyDick"" as my Netflix password... ...Netflix told me ""not long enough."""

"Why are there no guys named William serving in the army? Because they dislike the phrase ""Fire at Will"""