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Joke of the Day

"Why does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into D shells"

"Bad idea? Son, I got married in my 20s. Ideas don't get any worse than that."

"What's the darkest dark humor joke you got? I start!.. What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"How long does it take to reach the ground from 100 stories up? The rest of your life."

"CW:where are you going? Me:trying to prevent an awkward conversation between two people CW:who? Me:me and you"

"What date is it today? Brasil/Germany Or Germany/Brasil in some countries."

"Two college grads are standing at a counter... The one says to the other ""I'll have a number 6, super sized"""

"Adrian Veidt's wife walks into his bedroom and finds him with another woman. As she approaches him with angry tears, he says ""I did it 35 minutes ago."""

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, "" if my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it!"""

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I've won & the number of ipads I own."