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Joke of the Day

"[in basement lab] wife: you cant just make your own honey me: (mouth dry, spitting pollen everywhere) I know that now Lisa."

"My friend is concerned about his online dating luck... I told him not to worry -- There are plenty of fish in the net!"

"If you're ever chased by a police dog ...don't run over a see-saw, crawl through a tunnel or jump through a hoop. They're trained for that sort of thing"

"I used to steal other people's jokes. I still do, but I used to, too"

"Cops: ""Please step out of the car"" Me: ""I can't. I'm drunk. You get in."""

"You'll be surprised how many people won't get the answer to this. Q: what's red and smells like blue paint? A: red paint."

"What's the difference between wife and a blue whale? About 10 pounds."

"Men Vs Women Women want many things from one Man Whereas, Men want one thing from many Women..!!"

"Why did the updraft get pulled over? -It was speeding in a high shear zone"

"I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through."