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Joke of the Day

"What's a nerdy way of saying a bad word? A canine with two X chromosomes."

"What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA."

"Which anti-virus software do pirates prefer? Avast, ye scurvy dogs!"

"Directions to take a 1000 mile journey Step 1"

"WIFE: I love the oaky, earthen taste of this wine. FRIEND: Mine is both crisp and full-bodied. ME: [corks on my teeth] I am Count Corkula."

"Hey, are you cold? Go over to the corner, it's 90 degress"

"Why don't Mexican's sweat as much as other races? They don't want to fill up the river as they cross it."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints."

"People are like a crayons The white ones are useless."

"A pirate walks into a bar With a steering wheel attached to his belt. Confused, the bartender asks the man ""Hey buddy, what's up with the wheel?"" The pirate replies ""Aaaargh, it's drivin' me nuts!"""