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Joke of the Day

"Why do they call it a third eye? If its on your fourhead?"

"What do you call a fly with no wings a walk"

"I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it's wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it."

"Physical Doctor gave me a physical and says I have to stop master bating. I ask why? He says ""because I'm giving you a physical"""

"A nurse asks an absent-minded doctor, ""Doctor, why are you writing with a thermometer?"" The doctor looks down and says, ""God damnit. Now some asshole has my pen."""

"I accidentally rear ended a mercedes with a midget driver... he got out, looked at the damage and yelled ""I am not happy!"". I replied ""fine, which one are you then?"""

"During lunch I asked my food server which salad she preferred. She said, ""Either one! They're both amazeballs!"" I got a hamburger."

"A man walks into a bra He is a bit dyslexic"

"What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common? NEED MORE GAINS"

"I've heard like seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor it's gonna benign."