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Joke of the Day
"Just got my Facebook account suspended for reading a full article before I shared it."
Next Joke
"Everyone keeps saying ""0scars r our Olympics!"" O for f*ck sake. And our Pussy Riot is Justin Beiber fighting Shia lebeouf"
"My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos."
"The English language is bizzare There was a young girl from Slough Who choked on a piece of raw dough But the time she was through With hiccup and cough She woke everyone in the borough"
"COP: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."""
"Are you an ideal amount of red phosphorus and am I a proportioned tiny wooden stick? Because we're a match!"
"A guy with Apple maps walks into a bar... Or a church... Or a children's hospital"
"I'm so thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many likes you get on a picture."
"I ate two pieces of string yesterday. Today I pooped them out and they were tied together.. ..I shit you knot."
"Donald Trump is the candy corn of politicians Part white, part orange and sickening in large doses"