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Joke of the Day

"I'm at my most James Bond when I charge past the guards*, use my atomic laser**, and open the safe*** * 3 cats ** can opener *** catfood can"

"What do you call the underground slave trade? The black market."

"Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?"

"What did the test tube baby ask its father? Am I a jerk off?"

"[lawyer whispers to plaintiff] two can play this game ""Your honor. Upsexy."" Judge: what's upsexy? ""that's harassment. move to change venues"""

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Garbanzo beans were never the subject of bad puns."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Claude ! Claude who ? Claudework Orange !"

"I was diagnosed with ADHD last week. But my doctor sa"

"What's the definition of vagina? The box a penis comes in ;)"

"The word 'twice' is so good they named it 'Twice'."