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Joke of the Day

"A joke I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis."

"On the bright side, smoking cigarettes reduces the risk of winning a marathon."

"Pro tip: No matter how much you hate wrapping, never ask your wife to wrap her own Christmas presents."

"Major milestone today -- found my first grey pubic hair! But once I picked it out, the burger tasted pretty decent."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Stegosoreass."

"The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK"

"Biology joke A brother and sister are in the womb together, the sister kicks his foot and he says ""hey that's mitosis"". That is my original joke I made A few years ago."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"Me: *lying nude on checkered blanket* Him: ""Where's the food and why are you naked?"" Me: ""Am I doing it wrong? This is my first picnic."""

"hey, i'm joking; my sister was never a cutter... you know how hard it is to be a cutter with your hands full of football team?"