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Joke of the Day
"If I had to describe myself in one word... It would be, ""Unable to follow instructions."""
Next Joke
"Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter Solid matter Liquid matter Gas matter and most recently... Black Lives matter"
"Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms."
"I am living proof that you can ""be there"" and ""be square""."
"Sometimes when your sad, no one cares. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees. Sometimes when you leave no one notices. But fart just one time."
"What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names."
"Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling."
"Why are jewish potion makers all male? He brew"
"Has anyone heard of the movie 'Constipation'? No because it hasn't come out yet. Huehuehuehuehue"
"CUTE GIRL IN BAR: *walks up, points to my empty glass* Want another? ME: (OK don't blow this) Sure *she hands me her empty glass & leaves*"