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Joke of the Day

"If I stop my car for you to walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knee's to chest b!tch , knee's to chest!!!"

"I think my life would have turned out differently had I forwarded those chain letters in the 80's."

"Hey my American friend, I heard you like Football jersey's so I got you the new Irish Kit!! *Um, Bro?*"

"The dishwasher is making a strange noise. Probably because she's outside shoveling the driveway."

"I have been try to come up with a funny joke about leeches. I couldn't because they all suck"

"Pros and Cons of Easter Pro: Eating a chocolate bunny that's hollow inside. Con: Looking in the mirror and realising you're the same."

"I went to a library... and asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said, ""Well it rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's there or not."""

"FREE IDEA: a tanning salon called ""Turn Brown For What."""

"What do you call it when you kill an important donkey? An Assassassination. I made it up when I was seven and to this day its the only thing I've ever made up that resembles a joke."

"Surely these children should be in bed by now? - me, anytime after 4pm"