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Joke of the Day

"Why did the disorganized suicide bomber's friends not like him? He was all over the place."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"Don't ever ask me about the time my anus prolapsed. Its a long ass story."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, I fucking hate repeating myself."

"I just met the girl of my dreams She flew into class naked and her teeth fell out."

"What do you call a medical student that graduated at the bottom of his class with a 2.0 GPA? A doctor"

"For all those men who say""Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"" I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"

"What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus? A lickalottapus."

"When googling Gary Oldman I highly suggest not forgetting the ""R"""

"My wife is: 1) Am amazing mom and a great friend 2) Still the most beautiful girl I've ever been with 3) Now following me on Twitter"