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Joke of the Day

"A man calls his doctor late at night. ""Doc! My arm got broke in two places! What should I do?!"" The sleepy M.D replies, ""Don't go back to either of them."""

"A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey! Get outta here! We don't serve your kind!"" The mushroom replies, ""Why not? I'm a fun guy!"""

"I used to be addicted to soap It's okay I'm clean now"

"Why was Fernando Alonso upside down? Because he Haas been hit!"

"Q: Why do you look out the window in the morning? A: Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway."

"Obama in Berlin joke President Obama in Berlin outlining that maybe massive walls and state spying are not so bad after all."

"[talking to daughter's art major boyfriend] ""You know who else had a pointy beard? Satan."""

"How Long is a Chinese name. No, really, it is!"

"I called the urologist's office for an appointment for erectile dysfunction. The girl on the phone checked the calendar and said, ""alright, let's see if we can get you in.."" I said, ""exactly."""

"For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?"