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Joke of the Day

"I grew a beard thinking it would say ""Distinguished Gentleman."" Instead, turns out it says, ""Senior Discount, Please!"""

"I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn't even know I was driving."

"Howdeepisthepool? He had too much to drink before he went swimming!"

"A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill."

"ladies say I'm a hamster in the sheets because I squeal when I'm uncomfortable and I leave small pellets in the bed"

"What's the difference between Jesus and the painting of the Last Supper? You only need one nail to hang the painting."

"who said that girls don't have a good sense of direction? they sure know their way down."

"Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way."

"If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you."

"I'm afraid of good looking guys That's why I never keep a mirror in my house."