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Joke of the Day

"When I left home, my mum said, ""Don't forget to write."" I thought, ""That's unlikely... It's a basic skill, isn't it?"""

"My wife and I couldn't decide on which psychic to go and see... But we were able to come to a happy medium"

"I got a new fishing boat. I call it the master baiter."

"I've found a place with 90% recycling rate r/jokes"

"What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ? Jack-u-la !"

"I love arguing with you so much, I'll bring a Ouija board to your funeral."

"My girlfriend wrote 'Will you marry me?' on a piece of paper and hid it in my sandwich. Unfortunately I didn't see it and ate the lot. Not to worry though, I pooped the question this morning."

"What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4."

"What where Adam's first words to Eve? ""Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"""

"[office] DAVE: We're having a baby SUE: Congratulations! ME: [suspicious that Dave is a seahorse] Looking forward to the birth, Dave?"