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Joke of the Day

"Unroll wrapping paper. Shoo cat away Turn to get gift Shoo cat away Get tape Dammit cat Get tape Wrap up cat Wrap up gift Pet cat"

"Never understood Monopoly. It's like saying, ""Hey we're stressed out about real $, so let's play a game & get stressed out about pretend $."

"adam sandler's wife is madam sandler"

"When telling your dog he's adopted, make sure to mention that you will never love him as much as the dogs you gave birth to."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They already fell for that once."

"Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home? Because they won't commute."

"Hockey joke Turnovers are like ex-wives; the more you have, the more they'll cost you."

"Those signs that say ""Slow children playing"" When they grow up become ""Slow men working"""

"H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge . :)"

"Costco is a great place to go if you want to shop for 15 minutes and then stand in line and judge people for an hour."