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Joke of the Day

"Someone at work asked if I'd listened to any good books lately, and now I've got a body to dispose of. :("

"Well well well... looks like someone put on some weight again. ~ my pants right now"

"If a bend in a shoreline creates a large ocean inlet, but no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? ... think about it."

"I BELIEVE A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE KITCHEN 20% of the time."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs."

"As the saying goes, once you go black... You become a single mother."

"A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are through the roof."

"CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk They all hate the 1% though"

"Yo momma so fat... Her first name is Chow Yun."

"One man's trash is another man's girlfriend."