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Joke of the Day

"Me: *pooping with the door open* Olive Garden Mgr: ""I know what the slogan says ma'am, we aren't THAT kind of family."""

"paid a compliment By a coworker, ""every time I talk to you, I leave a smarter man."" I asked where he left him."

"What kind of eye disease do vampires get? Dracular degeneration."

"I've never sky dived but I have zoomed in real fast on google earth"

"Heard of the new gay website? It's colon, enter, pound, pound, pound."

"What is the difference between a dead baby and an orange? [NSFW] I don't fuck an orange after i peel its skin off"

"My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport."

"For christmas i bought my girlfriend a pair of shoes and a dildo. That way if she doesnt like the shoes she can go fuck herself."

"Doctors Jokes "" Doctor I keep stealing things"" "" Take these tablets; if that doesn't work get me a flat screen TV."""

"During sexual intercourse Jimmy suddenly stops and becomes motionless.. .. Girl: What the heck are you doing?? Jimmy: I have seen this on adult porn sites, it's called ""buffering"""