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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor today for a prostate exam. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, until I realized both his hands were on my shoulders."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't."

"Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ""Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?"""

"I support traditional marriage between a man and one of his own ribs."

"Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d'olive"

"My signature move is eating a whole bag of something before realizing I don't like it."

"Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course."

"Two peanuts walk into a really rough bar Unfortunately, one was a salted"

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick So my wife can blow all the money she wants"

"1) get drunk. 2) have sex. 3) leave taco bell. DONT TELL ME HOW TO PARTY!"