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Joke of the Day

"Scientists have discovered... That left handed people are significantly more likely to finish exams than people with no hands."

"An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the ""Free Alterations"" sign!'"

"Her: I think you're getting too into those Hobbit movies Me: *stops gluing a beard on the baby* what?"

"A black lady named Betty walks into a butcher shop that's always running out of things and ask for some beef The butcher replies ""No black Betty, ham or lamb?"""

"A box full of leak detection fluid leaked all over the inside of a trailer this morning. Well, at least it worked."

"Me: I think we need to break up Her: Now is not a good time Me: Okay *we ride the rollercoaster in silence*"

"What do you call a Mexican child molester? A Pedrophile"

"Did you know you can actually WIN Instagram by taking a picture of your feet next to your dinner at sunset?"

"Dating in your 30s is like looking for a Parking spot..... The good ones are all Taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away."

"Anytime my 6 yr old daughter replies with 'What?', there's always that split second where I fight my urge to start quoting Pulp Fiction."