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Joke of the Day

"Hey waiters-I don't ever 'save room for dessert', I just stuff it in there and pray to God I don't have an accident."

"If winning was easy, losers would do it."

"A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which one judge remarked ""I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."""

"If you find stocking stuffers in stores around Christmas, what do you find around Thanksgiving? Stuffing stockers."

"Drunk girls click ""reply all"" when they talk."

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

"""Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome."" - Pew Pew Pew Research Center"

"The John Deere manure spreader It's the only product the company won't stand behind"

"My son just said he doesn't like cheese and now I have to interview all the mailmen in my neighborhood"

"How does a sailor remove a condom? He farts."