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Joke of the Day
"I'm not going to sugar coat this - you have diabetes"
Next Joke
"A known sex maniac, on the publication of his memoir, was asked how he felt about his past exploits. ""I remember them fondly."""
"A man walks into a bar with a big slab of tarmac/asphalt under his arm... The barman asks him, ""So what can I get you?"" ""I'll have a pint and eh, one for the road."""
"A mathematician walks into a bar. The bartender says ""You just missed happy hour. All drinks fifty percent off"" The mathematician says ""Thanks, I'll halve to remember that"""
"A government scandal is like a pair of boobs... The bigger they are, the harder they are to cover up."
"$100 dollar bill.... a guy leaves of a building and looks up and says that $100 bill is mine, that $100 dollar bill is mine, and dies crushed by a mattress."
"Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting."
"I've been playing this online game where you mostly end up immobilised and eaten alive by insects. It's alright, but just feels like another form of e-scaphism."
"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair... Virgin mobile"
"Keep calm and stop making different versions of that ""keep calm"" poster."