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Joke of the Day

"My son just handed me a duck & a pig from his puzzle & smiled as if that made us ""even"" for all the food/clothing I've given him."

"Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah Doctor: Just as I suspected. This is my leg"

"How does the mummy plan to destroy Superman? He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight."

"Man to wife: Business is bad, if YOU learn TO cook we can remove servant. Wife: If YOU learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..."

"What do you call Aaron Rodgers' generous daughter? Sharon Rodgers"

"Welcome to innuendo club. This is going to be a long and hard session, if you know what I mean."

"I am so much angry!!! I just might go Super Saiyan!!!"

"Duck in my soup. Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup... Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?"

"""Say TGIF ONE more time"" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, ""Go ahead, say it again."""

"Why should I submit a joke today? Because today's April full!"