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Joke of the Day

"There's probably only 7 people on earth who actually know what they're doing during the whole smelling, swirling and sipping wine thing."

"Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia? It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket."

"What's the difference between a nun, and a prostitute in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul."

"What happens when you provoke an angry redhead? Ginger snaps."

"A vampire stopped coming to my nightly poker games. All I said was that he made too many mistakes..."

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."

"Why did the guitarist get thrown in jail? He was caught fingering A Minor."

"Q: Why did the farmer make a high-pitched gasp? A: Because he was tired of the sigh-low."

"I think single ply toilet paper is very spiritual. I easily get in touch with my inner self."

"My girlfriend walked up and said she is expecting... me to lose weight."