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Joke of the Day

"Alzheimer Joke (Not sure if repost.) I'll see myself out..."

"I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast."

"What's in a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone, without dressing ..."

"A termite walks into a bar And asks ,"" Is the bar tender here?"

"According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me."

"'When I go to the bathroom at work and someone follows me in' Doctor: I meant is there anything worrying you, physically"

"My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer."

"Two-thirds of America's Funniest Home Video winners spent their prize money on heroin."

"If anyone breaks in, I take comfort in knowing they'll never get past the 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway."

"I spend a lot of time thinking about you and how you were pretty much good with everything. By you I mean Nutella."