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Joke of the Day

"I was at a wedding the other day It was so moving, even the cake was in tiers"

"Why is the magnet on medication? Because it's bipolar"

"I just sprayed hair glitter onto a fly instead of insect spray. Not dead... but pretty fly."

"When a family member unexpectedly dies what's the proper waiting period before removing their stick figure from the back of the minivan??"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I have never paid $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Gf: do I look fat in these pants? Brain: oh god it's a trap, this is what we've been training for Me: I've seen worse Brain: WTF MAN"

"What's the difference between a Ford and a tampon? The tampon comes with a tow rope."

"When you want to marry a beautiful, a smart and a rich woman marry three times."

"I was told I was addicted to cocaine, but I can assure you I am definitely not. I just love the way it smells."

"Want to hear an ebola joke? you wont get it"