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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone? Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone."

"I've decided to start a new line of 'extra-shatter' measuring sticks. Because rulers were made to be broken."

"Pissed off? Punch a wind chime and you'll feel better."

"I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was."

"A shipment of wigs has been stolen Police are combing the area"

"I'm so torn on circumcision. I mean, you're either foreskin or against it."

"What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice? ""REPOST!"""

"What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat? Skip"

"Nan, what is death? Nan? NAN? .."

"Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career. At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it."