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Joke of the Day

"I used to want to live in the sewers with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid so I'd say I'm a success compared to that."

Next Joke
 
"What's another word for knowing that you're right? Woman"
"How does a cow kiss? Smooooooch"
"[First date] Me: So, I've been married for 12 years - Him: You're married?? Me: Is that a problem?"
"Back in the good old days when... Men were men... and boys were men. and women were men..."
"Yo' mama is so stupid... (OC) She thinks Salmonella is a Disney fish princess."
"What were Charles Darwin's favorite fruits? Oranges and peaches."
"My phone autocorrects 'sex' into 'pez' in case you were wondering just how dead my pez life is."
"What is the best way to stop a politician? A really strong gust of wind."
"My phone can hold 5000 songs or 1 voicemail from my mom"