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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a brown noser and a shit head? Depth perception."

"I didn't realize the dark backstory of some of these Disney characters. Like, Goofy is brain damaged from untreated syphilis."

"What do you call someone whose GPA is greater than the number of inches their dick is? Asian"

"Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city? He was running out of patients."

"I've been getting way too deep into the Prague Surrealist movement lately. I think I need a Reality Czech."

"I had to study a book on the human digestive system today.... The ending was shit"

"I'm no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one."

"*texts god* Me: yo, can we add ""being a grammar nazi"" to the list of sins? Their annoying. God: *they're"

"I need a hobby where I say stuff and people follow me around."

"Her: I love it when we finish each other's Him: pancakes"