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Joke of the Day

"Someone please help me with my pope resume, so far all I have is ""I look fantastic in large hats."""

"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."

"With all of this negativity in the media At least Charlie Sheen is staying positive."

"I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"Jokes about vaginas are disgusting... Period."

"What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Kids."

"One day long, long ago... ...there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch. But it was a long time ago, and just for that one day. The End."

"Strip club[OC] So I'm at the strip club and this huge breasted woman comes up to me and slaps me silly with her left titty. Guy sitting next to me says,""bet that's gonna leave a lasting mammary."""

"Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar It's so sad they're not as talented as white people."

"If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes"