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Joke of the Day

"Whats the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."

"Back in my day, we didn't have Twitter, Facebook, or even the internet. Guys would have to walk uphill for days to tell me that I'm gay."

"I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.... I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.It's fucking awful, every now and then it falls apart."

"ten years ago we had Jason Shoes, Carl Shirt and Daniel Problem. now we have no shoes no shirt no problem welcom to dennys what can i get u"

"Who steals from the poor and gives to the rich? Robbin' hood"

"What's the difference between Hitler and a marathon runner? The marathon runner can successfully finish a race"

"My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. Rather a few layers."

"God: why don't we text anymore? Me: you know why God: I can't just give everyone a Sega whenever they ask. That's not how it works Me: k"

"After Babe Ruth died, the world became ruthless."

"HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake."