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Joke of the Day
"I fucked a fat woman in an elevator once It was wrong on so many levels"
Next Joke
"Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees? The Germans like shade"
"How do you get a polar bear in the water? First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!"
"Doctors in Zurich, Switzerland, in a 14-hour operation, successfully separated the conjoined Facebook account of a husband and wife."
"[Job interview] Me: [thinking] I hope he doesn't notice the mustard on my shirt Interviewer: [thinking] Is he eating a fkn hotdog?"
"My boss refused to give me a raise until I whipped him with my belt. It took some feirce negotiating, but he finally buckled."
"A comedian committed suicide today... Took a knife straight to the jocular vein."
"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."
"What did batman say to robin before robin got in the car? get in the car"
"Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange."